


FINDING HAN

by choikwonkim



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, jeongcheol - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choikwonkim/pseuds/choikwonkim
Summary: Seungcheol met Jeonghan on the darkest day of his life. He became his salvation. But then he disappeared without a trace. What will he uncover as he try to reach him back?
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeongcheol
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	FINDING HAN

**Breaking News: Rapper S.Coups caught in a scandal with Korea's elite actress, Carat. S.Coups' company denies the rumors but photos of the said couple is now all over the internet.**

_“S.Coups what can you say about the scandal?” “S.Coups, a word from you please.” “Are you really in a relationship with Carat?” “What are your plans?” “Why are you not together? Where is she?” “Her fans said you’re just using her for clout?” “Are you cheating on Carat?”_ All of this welcomed him when he’s on his way to the company. The board decided to hold a meeting in regards to the scandal.

“S.Coups this is getting out of hand. You’re receiving a lot of hate from her fans. And not only that, some of your fans left too. Isn’t this too early to be involved with someone?” the company’s CEO said.

Seungcheol just stayed silent. He wants to tell him it’s not true. That he doesn’t even know Carat in the first place. However, he found out Carat is the daughter of one of the shareholders here. If he speaks now, his career is over.

“The board decided to put you on hiatus. We’ll pause all your activities and move your comeback to a later date.” He continued.

Seungcheol was about to speak up but his manager held his shoulder and nodded his head no. Seungcheol sighed as he stand up to get away from everyone.

A year had passed but the scandal hasn't died down. S.Coups lost a lot of his fans.

While waiting for his time to return, he has work on his music. He’s working hard to give back to the fans waiting for him. Aside from staying most of the time on his studio, working out became his outlet to let out his frustrations.

He’s on break until now. The company didn't give him work. He was always promised to have a comeback until the situation is over.

It's gone bad when the actress went to a press conference crying. “I was set up to do it. I don’t even know S.Coups. He even stayed silent as if confirming the scandal. I have a lot of endorsements halted because of it.” The actress sobbed as she delivered this.

He wanted to shout so much. He never even met her, but the damage she has done impacted his work.

It made S.Coups look bad to the public.

He wants to clear his name but he received more backlash instead. It hurts to read comments online. It's taking a toll on him. The amount of hate he’s getting from all of his social media platform is slowly eating him up.

He just wants everything to end. Maybe, just maybe people will stop if he's gone for good.

Walking along the Han River clears up his mind. However, tonight feels like a good time to end his life. The scent of the water attracted him. He looked around to check if there are people nearby. He wants to end this silently and without a witness.

He removed his shoes carefully. It's his favorite so he doesn't want to ruin it. _Here I am wanting to die but I thought of my shoes first._ He scoffed at the thought.

He walked towards the inviting cold water. It's so dark he can't even see where he is walking. Finally, the coldness seeped into his feet. The cold air adding to the emptiness he feel inside. _This is it, I’m really doing it. Will I be at peace after? Will they stop hating me?_

The water is now below his knee. He's getting used to the feeling. He slowly closed his eyes and walked faster. Thirty seconds later the water is now just below his chin. He took an airful before closing his eyes again. _I’m sorry manager hyung, I just want to disappear_. He’s worried his manager will see his empty room. The poor man will probably cry. His bestfriend Joshua, he hopes he will not forget about him.

Just as he was about to take the dive, he heard a rustling sound. Panicked, he turned around only to see the aquatic plants _. Shoot! Did someone see me? I should do it faster._

A loud scream came out from his mouth when he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Ahhhhhhh~! Who is that! Stay away from me” He wriggled away from the touch, and slowly turn his head, he saw a man warmly smiling at him.

"Aren't you cold here?" the man asked as he was throwing his jacket around Seungcheol's shoulder. Dumbfounded, Seungcheol just nodded his head no. Still unable to speak. Shock is an understatement. He could’ve died right there. _But isn’t that what I want?_

"Hello? Did I scare you?" the man asked again as he waved his hand infront of Seungcheol's fear stricken face.

As if mimed, Seungcheol just nodded his head. He went with the flow as the man dragged him back to the river bank. He watched him pick up his shoes and let him slide it to his feet. He was dragged again to the nearest bench.

"I'm Han, what's your name?" the man asked Seungcheol while keeping a light smile on his face.

"S-seungcheol," he managed to breathe out.

"I won't ask you anything. However, I'll be with you until you feel okay."

Seungcheol just nodded yet again.

They stayed seated, no words spoken. People slowly came around Han River. It's now almost 5am. They can now see people jogging and doing laps. The sun is almost up.

Seungcheol decided to get up. Head hung low as he was ashamed of what happened.

The man who helped him just followed his steps. Slowly matching his pace. As if dragging his feet to walk.

He unlocked his car and went inside. The man followed suit, riding shotgun.

Seungcheol is too weak to argue so he let him be.

The ride to his apartment was silent. As soon as they arrived, he went to his room. Not minding the man he left on his living room. He sighed as he slowly changed into his pajamas.

As thoughts linger on his mind, sleep consumed him.

He woke up to his house smelling like a food gone bad for days. _What the fuck is this smell_ , he thought. His face crumpled as he feels like throwing up.

He walked to the kitchen, and saw the man taking out something from the microwave. His face is serious looking at the food he made.

Seungcheol was confused. Who the hell microwaves a lettuce? And is that cheese he see stuffed inside? _Weird_.

"Did I wake you up? I was trying to cook food for you. Do you want to try it?" the man slowly approached him holding out the food.

Seungcheol doesn't have the heart to see no, not when he can see the sincerity in his eyes.

He thought he'll die from the food he just ate. He swallowed it quickly to avoid tasting it. Which was a bad idea. _I need water._

As if reading his mind, the man smiled while handing him a glass of water. He looks satisfied that he ate the food he prepared.

Jeonghan snickered knowing how bad it is. "Got you! How can you even eat that when it's clearly bad?"

A small smile made its way through Seungcheol's lips. _I bet I can get used to be with someone for now._

"You look better when you smile Cheol."

Seungcheol was taken aback from the endearment. No one has called him that for years. He's been alone for five years now. Both his parents are now in heaven. And they're the only ones who called him "Cheol". Even his manager hyung doesn’t call him that. He realized he never had someone close to him aside from his parents and Joshua.

His bestfriend is currently in the US, taking his MBA. As much as the latter wants to go back to be with him, he won’t appreciate being a burden. So he told him to just stay there and finish everything before coming home.

They slowly developed a bond. Seungcheol got used to someone else’s presence. It’s actually a breath of fresh air. He has someone who listens well. They mostly talk before sleeping.

“I really want to go back to the music scene, Han. I miss being onstage, showing people what I’m capable of.”

“I understand, Cheol. I can see you’re worried about being forgotten. Everyone is. Imagine waking up alone, no one knows you. But hey, I’m here now. I’ll be with you as long as you want me to.”

A tear escaped Seungcheol’s eyes. This is one of those nights where he feels safe and cared for. He’s not alone anymore. How did he even survived a year without someone to talk to. He stayed alone on that dark alley, waiting for someone to notice him. He never thought he’ll find him on the day he decided to drop it all and be gone.

Days went by and the two stayed inside his house. Playing video games. Lounging outside his little balcony.

“I won, Cheol. Now go and wash the dishes.”

“I only let you win because you looked like you’re about to cry. You’ve been washing the dishes for a week now.” Seungcheol ran to the kitchen when he noticed Han getting up, laughing as he saw him pouting.

While doing the chore, he realized he still doesn't know anything except for his name. He's okay with it though. He needs this distraction more than anything. And he’s happy.

"Do you want to go somewhere?" Seungcheol asked Han as they were cuddling on his sofa. They just finished watching a movie. And their eyes are both puffy from crying. Watching a drama was a bad idea because they're both cry babies.

"I want to get some coffee, can we?" Han asked with a little pout. Seungcheol playfully pinch his nose.

"Okay Han, let's get caffeinated."

Han give him the direction to the cafe. It's a cute tiger themed one.

A hamster looking barista got their orders. He read the nametag, it says Hoshi. _It suits him._

The barista's eye smile is contagious so Seungcheol was smiling all throughout ordering their drinks.

He went back to their table. Han is deep on his thoughts.

"A penny for your thought?" Seungcheol smiled while asking Han.

Han slowly smiled as he shrugged. "Guess?"

"Hmm? Maybe you’re thinking of going on a roadtrip?" Cheol went along.

An O formed Han's lips as he dramatically answered, "You read my mind!"

Seungcheol laughed at Han's acting. He’s used to his antics now.

The coffee is served and they enjoyed it while planning the route they'll take for their road trip.

They decided to go to Daegu. Seungcheol recommended the place since Han mentioned about wanting to eat kalguksu.

Kalguksu is one of the delicacies Daegu is known for. And Seungcheol just knows the right place to get one of the best knife-cut noodles.

They went back to his apartment to get some things. While doing so, Han is playfully removing the clothes Cheol is stuffing on his travel bag. They ended up not brining anything with them instead. Ready to go, he dragged Han to his car.

On the road, he let Han play with his stereo. He sang his heart out when Cherry Blossom Ending by Busker Busker played.

The scent of cherry blossom wafting on the air as they near Daegu.

They have the windows rolled down to feel the air. Han's hair is softly swaying.

_What a beautiful sight_ , the thought crossed Cheol's mind.

It's been a week since he met Han. His salvation. The light to his dark days. Is it possible to fall for someone so quickly? Is it the feeling of warmth whenever he smiles to him? Was it his playful side he finds endearing?

Seungcheol can't believe his eyes. Han is infront of him, already on his third bowl of kalguksu while he's still halfway on his first bowl.

"Han, eat slowly. No one's gonna take away the food from you."

Han just nodded his head as he stuffed another nabjak mandu to his mouth.

Seungcheol just smiled in amusement. He proceeded to touch Han's hair lovingly. He received a death glare in return.

Instead of getting scared, Seungcheol giggled at the sight of Han's stuffed face. He looks like a rabbit ready to attack.

After eating, they decided to book a hotel. As much as Seungcheol wants to stay at his home here in Daegu, he's sure it's full of dust right now.

He booked adjacent rooms so he can easily sneaked up to Han's room.

Watching Han sleeping has become a habit. He caught him sleeping on the kitchen table one time and he got hooked.

The way Han's face is so peaceful gives him a sense of comfort.

He was busy brushing up the hair that fell on Han’s face, smiling at the sight infront of him. He slowly traced Han’s eyes, touching his lashes. Unable to control himself, he touched Han’s lips slowly, it lingered for a while as he feels the smoothness.

He froze when Han moved. More so when he felt Han’s arm reaching for him. He caught his neck and slowly snuggled on it. It tickles so he wasn’t able to control his giggle, resulting to Han opening an eye, “Cheol?” he said, as he proceeded to hum in satisfaction when Cheol patted his head to lull him back to sleep.

  
  


They went to church the next day. Seungcheol wants to ask for forgiveness on the dark thought he had weeks ago.

Han preferred to stay outside. Claiming he's not comfortable with going in.

After praying, Seungcheol went back outside to see Han talking to an elderly couple. He smiled at how Han is talking animatedly to the old woman. He can even hear his beautiful laughter. The way he scrunch his nose and leans on the old woman’s shoulder while laughing. It’s a habit he noticed. When he finds something funny, he leans to his shoulder while laughing his heart out. He remembered freezing the first time it happened.

Before they go, Han whispered something to the old lady. And in return the old lady kissed Han's cheeks.

The sight made Seungcheol's heart warm. He plans to tell Han of what he feels once they get back to Seoul.

But it never happened, Seungcheol woke up to a hospital bed. His whole body aches and he flinched as he saw his arm bandaged up.

His bestfriend Joshua rushed up to him. Calling the nurse in a hurry.

Seungcheol eyes roamed around the room, looking for Han.

Seungcheol stayed quiet as the doctors checked him up. They said they need to run more tests before they can confirm he's out of danger.

Joshua's worried face came into focus. "Do you want to eat something?" He asked Cheol.

"Where is Han?" the first question he asked.

Confused, Joshua answered, "Who is Han? Did you meet someone before the accident happened?"

"How many hours did I pass out? Where is Han? He was with me."

"Seungcheol, you didn't pass out for hours. You were in a coma for 5 months now."

Seungcheol's mind went blank. So if he was in a coma for 5 months? What happened to Han? Where is Han?

"Was I brought here alone?"

Joshua nodded. "They found your car wrecked in the intersection. You're on your way back to Seoul when you encountered a drunk bus driver."

"You're about to collide but you were able to swerve in time. I'm glad you're now awake Seungcheol. I have good news for you. Your name is cleared. While you were in a coma, Carat made a statement, claiming all of it was her doing. Saying she just wants to get your attention. You're free from it! The company is already making plans for your comeback once you fully recover. Seungcheol, do you hear me?"

His mind is elsewhere. He wants to know where Han is. He's sure he was with him. They were even talking about the meal they'll get once home.

"Joshua, where is Han?" Seungcheol desperately asked again. Clutching Joshua's hands as he hoped to get the answer he wants to hear.

"Who is Han? You're alone on the car wreck Seungcheol. Maybe you were just dreaming. Let me get you some water, okay?”

Tears slowly fell down Seungcheol's eyes. He badly wants to shout but he chose the cry silently.

What happened? When did all of it went wrong? They were happy singing along some old songs. They were talking about their next destination.

One month has passed and Seungcheol finally recovered. Never once a day Han slipped his mind.

He got busy with the comeback preparation. He wants to surprise Han, so he waited. He wants to find him before his showcase.

So where does he start finding the man he only knew as Han? Even a single information aside from that is unknown to him.

So he decided to go back to the places they've been before.

He went to the cafe first, the first place they went to aside from his apartment.

Just his luck, the barista Hoshi is at the counter.

"Hey, uhm Hoshi, right?" Seungcheol shyly started the conversation.

"Sir, it's been so long." Hoshi replied with his usual eye smile.

"Do you remember me going here maybe 6-7 months ago?"

"Of course Sir, you're one of the weird customers I served. Sorry for the term, but I really found it odd when you ordered coffee and talked animatedly alone."

"What do you mean alone? You didn't see the man I was with that day?"

"Sir, my eyes may look like its closed most of the time but my vision is as clear as day."

"Is there a way I can look at your CCTV recording on that day?"

"Let me talk with my manager, you can sit while waiting. Do you want coffee?"

"Water will do for now Hoshi."

Heart racing, Seungcheol waited for Hoshi. The latter emerged from the room with his manager. They brought a laptop with them.

They approached him carefully. Laid down the laptop on his table.

He can see his car on the parking space. He went out, waited for a few seconds before going in. Clearly holding out the door for someone. But no one is in sight. He pulled the chair before walking his way to the counter. There he saw how he ordered two drinks, went back to the table.

The coffee untouched as he animatedly talk to thin air.

Still not believing what he saw onscreen, Seungcheol drove to Daegu.

He went to the restaurant where they ate kalguksu. The owner recognized him immediately.

He asked if he remembered him from 6 months ago and the man nodded.

He asked if he still remember the number of orders he had and the person he was with on that day.

A look of concern showed on the owner's face.

"You ordered four bowls of ramen and two set of mandu. You only finished 1 bowl though and the mandus untouched."

"One of my staff got the creeps when he saw you smiling lovingly and as if patting someone's head when you're alone. Three bowls laid infront of you. You even laughed at something which they found strange."

Seungcheol's mind is loaded with this information he acquired.

He's now dragging his feet to the hotel. It's a walking distance from the restaurant. He's still denying the reality shoved to his mind.

It can't be. Han is real. He was able to touch him. See him eat. Bask in his smile and playful laughter. He needs to find Han.

He went straight to the front desk and ask if he can see the record from 6 months ago.

The staff asked for his identification card and the date he booked there.

His hands were shaking as he saw the record of him booking adjacent rooms but only his name is showing on the logbook, he wrote Han.

He was sure he wrote Han's name. They even laughed about how bad his handwriting is.

Han teased him while they walk to their room. He's sure he was with Han.

_Where exactly are you Han? Why can't I find you? Please be okay. I want to see you._ These thoughts flooded his mind.

The last destination, the church they went to before they went back to Seoul.

He prayed hard as he wished to see Han, to be able to hold him again. Say the things he was unable to speak.

On his way back to his car, an elderly man caught his attention. Standing under the shade of a tree as if waiting for someone.

It struck him, it was the man Han talked with. The elderly couple from 6 months ago.

He quickly walked his way to the old man.

"Sir, are you waiting for someone? Where is your wife?"

"Is it you?" the man asked and Seungcheol was confused.

"My wife promised a man 6 months ago that she'll meet a man and pass on a message."

"You see my wife started to talk randomly on thin air as we got older. I got used to it. I still remember that day when she acted to kiss someone on the cheek. My wife died 5 months ago, and I'm here to fulfill her promise."

"This is what the man wants to tell you, **_Live on, and be happy. I'll wait for you in heaven, in the right time we'll be together again. Seeing how you went back here, I'll assume you're doing well._** There you go young man. I have to go and bring these flowers to my wife."

Seungcheol absentmindedly nodded and watch the man walked away.

As soon as he sat on his car, a harsh crying sound escaped his lips. Banging his head on the steering wheel. He doesn't want to believe it. It wasn't a part of his imagination. Han exists. Han was with him. He was with Han.

Night time came and he went to Han River. He laughed sadly as he remembered screaming his heart out when Han tapped his shoulder. The scene replaying infront of him like a movie. He laughed as his tears fell. He clearly remembered the warm smile Han offered him. Han didn't asked him questions. He let him be.

An old man sat beside him. So he quickly wiped his tears. Not wanting to show weakness to anyone.

But the frame the man is holding shocked him. Han wearing the same shirt when he met him was smiling on the photo.

"Is that Han?" Seungcheol asked nervously.

The old man turned his head, shock evident on his face "This is Jeonghan, my son. How did you know his nickname is Han? I'm pretty sure you're not one of his friends. My Han was a lonely boy. He always keep to himself."

"And the loneliness consumed him. I still regret why I didn't let him study near where I work so I can be with him. I didn't know what my son went through, not until he left me."

"What do you mean he left you? Where is Han?"

"Han died 5 years ago, right on that spot infront of us. He decided to end his life after going through so much. I wanted him to get good credentials so I enrolled him to that school, unknowingly signing up my son for hell."

"But sir I met him 6 months ago. Here in Han River, just like him I thought of ending my life. But he stopped me, he offered me his jacket when I was soaked in water. He gave me a warm smile and sat me on this bench without questions. He made me happy on that two weeks."

"You did? Then my Han found a friend. I'm happy he enjoyed his time with you."

Seungcheol continued to tell Han's father of all the things they did. Not leaving out a single detail.

They were both crying as he finished.

Han's father bid goodbye and left him the frame with Han's photo.

He held it close to his heart.

"Han, you saved me from making the worst decision. Thank you for giving light to my dark world. I just hope you gave me enough time to let this sink in."

"I regret not telling you how I feel. I should've told you before we drove back to Seoul. But maybe you can hear me right now? I love you Han, on that short time we were together you made me worthy of love and care. Through your warm smile, you melted the ice in my heart."

"I'll see you in heaven? Or maybe in our next lifetime, we'll meet as two normal people. I will find you Han. Finding you will not end on this lifetime. Thank you."

**Breaking News: Rapper S.Coups shocks fans as he comes back with a ballad single titled Second Life. S.Coups is known for his title tracks such as UnHaengIlChi and Trauma. So this genre is definitely new to his listeners.**

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback: https://curiouscat.qa/choikwoncho


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